Forgiveness Is a Sign Of Weakness…

Forgiveness Is a Sign Of Weakness…

It’s New Years’ time
Revellers sing out a refrain of change
Begin again. Begin again…

The ice in my veins strains
I can feel it cracking, fragmenting
But still…
The memory of your vicious words
Going for the jugular every one
Tearing me limb from limb
I won’t– not yet – forgive
But still…

It’s New Years’ time
Revellers ring in the change
The ice in my heart yearns
Melting, my hand drifts to the cellular
I falter
Feel the lash of your tongue blistering my skin
Re-open old sores
It’s weakness to forgive
Better to remember your hate filled venom
Forgiveness – a sign of weakness

But still…
You’re forever in my brain
My hands punch your number in
Faltering
Slam the phone – kills the call to forgive
Maybe next New Years’ time
Drawing in my breath
Resolutely I sustain myself
Remembering …

It’s New Years’ time
Revellers are ringing in the changes
The church bell calls
Sun streams across your burial casket
Shattering my armour
The ice in my heart cracks asunder

Shards devour my unforgiving quintessence
That ‘next’ year ‘next’ time
Will not come now
G C Hill Jan 2017 ©