Memories of a Postman
By Tony Devlin
I applied for the job as a postman. I didn’t know if I’d like it or not. When I was recruited I thought I’ll give it a trial period of two months. I enjoyed my job so much I worked as a postman for 27 years until I retired. In all those years I had many experiences. Some were funny and others not so funny.
Here’s a few I am going to share with you.
Eddie Lindsay of Bready had a Kerry blue terrier dog. He kept it locked in a small shed. He told me if the dog was ever out, not to get out of the van. One day, I called to Eddie and left the mail on the table. As I was leaving, I noticed the dog crouching at the open door of the shed, ready to pounce. I shouted out,” Is there anybody at home? There was no answer.
I sneaked out of Eddie’s house on my tiptoes that day, looking over my shoulder. I made it back to the van.
Postman One Kerry Blue Nil!
Doctor Fullerton had an Alsatian who would have ate you up if he’d got his teeth into you. Thankfully, you only had to deliver the post to the doctor’s house on a Saturday. During the week the mail could go to his surgery.
This one Saturday I blew the horn for somebody to come out and collect the mail from the van. No one was at home – except, Murphy, the dog. Out he came and sunk his flashing razor sharp teeth into the two front tyres and punctured them both!
Well, I got out of there as fast as I could. Well, as fast as I could with two holed tyres – to somewhere safe where I replaced the tyres with the two spares I carried.
But a scarier time was when I was walking out of the main P O n Derry where I was collecting money to bring to Strabane. This guy with the collar of his coat turned up suddenly appeared in front of me and demanded, “Drop the bag or I’ll blow your brains out.” He had a gun in his hand and I wasn’t going to die a hero. So, I did what I was told and he quickly made off with it.
I was badly shaken up that day.
A more light hearted experience happened when I called to a house one day and the old woman there asked me to call to her neighbour a few houses along to tell her to come down to say a few prayers for her cat who had died.
I thought she was telling me a tall tale until she invited me in. Sure enough, there was her dead cat stretched in a white coffin the size of a shoebox, and with all the trimmings.
Another time I was at a house with a lot of steps. The woman met me on the doorstep to get her mail and she said,” Your van running away!” I looked over my shoulder and saw the Post van running back.
I leaped and jumped a wall and ran like blazes but to no avail. The van rolled onto her lawn and knocked down a rose bush tied to a stake. Fair play to the woman, she said not to worry about it and waved me off with a smile.
The flood of 1987 flooded the town including the Post Office yard. All the vans were half filled with water and it was panic stations getting back on the road with the mail.
But somehow we did it.
To finish off, I remember, one day I was out in the country and came to a house with a lot of cars parked outside it. I couldn’t drive into the yard so I tooted the horn for somebody to come and get the mail. This young lad came out and as I handed him the mail, I said casually, “What’s on the day…a car auction?”
“No, he said,” my father has died.”
Talk about being embarrassed!
First published 2010 in: Ballycolman, its People, History, Views and Humour
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