Tuesday Titter
Half Expecting
A tourist came to a level crossing and found the gate half closed. He stood around for half an hour. Then he made his way to the gatekeeper’s house to see what was happening. The gatekeeper half closed his eyes and glanced out through the half open door. “I was half expecting a train. So I left the gate half open,”
Black Eyed Jack
Jack marched into work one day with a black eye. His boss was curious as to how he’d got it. “Well you see, it was like this,” Jack explained, “I was sitting beside a big girl on the train and when she got up her skirt got caught in her knickers and I put my hand out to pull it down and her underwear came too. And she turned round and belted me, giving me the black eye.”
It sounded a plausible enough explanation so the boss let it go.
“What happened this time,” Jack’s boss asked in exasperation as Jack came in the following day with two black eyes. “Well you see,” Jack explained, “She was on the bus this morning and the same thing happened. The man beside her pulled her dress down. But I knew she didn’t like it like that so I pushed it back up and she gave me this,” he said pointing to his other black eye.
The teacher was carefully explaining to her class of boys that it was alright for boys – and their daddies to be scared.
“Now, who can give me an example of when their daddy was scared,” she asked.
“Please Miss, please Miss, one boy shouted. “We were camping. And there was a mouse in our tent and my daddy ran out and my mammy had to catch it.”
“Very good,” the teacher said.
“Please Miss, my mammy says my daddy is a scared of his own shadow,” another boy called out.
“Bah! That nothing,” Johnny shouted from the back of the class.”Last week my Mam went in to hospital to get another new baby and my Dad was so scared of the dark, he slept with the woman next door.”
“
Gemma Hill Writeyou Writeme 